It's been a very long time since I did this. So many thoughts and ideas that I've penned on paper, but often, very often, I have been happy to let them settle in my saved documents, gathering virtual dust, as the seeds of "not good enough" continue to grow.
Yet, in all this time, there have been many times where I have listened to great arguments, read articles and blogs from friends and family, to strangers I may never meet. Debates about gender, education, Nkandla, Health, rape, the political landscape of our beloved South Africa and of course the inevitable bitter, anger driven conversations about Racism and apartheid and how it has almost irreparably damaged the future of this country.
Almost everyday you and I are privy to all these different opinions being shared by people from all walks of life, some seeped with anger and hatred so deep, your ears burn and you're at a complete loss to give any answer that would at once heal some of these wounds. Some dangerously covered in ignorance and a lack of understanding and compassion which should be deemed inhumane. Then there is the hopelessness and bitterness that flows from those who have lost so much or who feel so intensely about these issues that haunt us all everyday.
Daily, we are bombarded with these views, many of which reflect the same pain and anguish, the same distinct air of powerlessness but often they are just regurgitated thoughts and opinions, told by different people, in different spaces and yet the feelings they leave behind are always the same. I have heard it all before, debated it all before, cried over it all before and felt the same sense of hopelessness, time and time before. Yet, as often as I have heard people say that these are isues that we "need to discuss" to "put on the national agenda", that the only way forward is for us to "speak about 'these things' in the open", I have realised that we really do not have any real notion of what that really means.
Think about it, on any given day, there are enough columnists n this country who write about the sad and dark issues which affect this country. We have discussions with friends and colleagues about the impact of rape and sexual abuse, the rise in unemployment and the frightening crime stats that plague us ALL every single day, and yet nothing changes. We're having these conversations in our homes, in the workplace, in buses and trains, sometimes even in schools. The evils of Apartheid, the lack of political will in this country, corruption, our harrowing education system, the deteriorating state of public health, our President who seems blissfully unaware, we ARE having these discussions. We are having these conversation and yet we continue to say that we need to discuss these issues. Am I missing something here?
When we talk about needing a national dialogue on issues ABC to Z, what exactly do we mean, what do we want to see happen and to what end. The last time we had a moment of national dialogue was during the historical TRC but dare I ask whether that really and truly did anything to pull this country out of the pits of darkness, that we still find ourselves drowning in, 19 years later.
I almost feel like I'm tired of talking, I'm tired of the same old stories. Now all I want to see is action, real tangible action in our fight against racism, sexism, rape, gender inequality and the many other fingers which continue to tighten their grip and strangle the life out of a country, which still has the potential be great. In pure frustration from having these self same conversations, I must ask the same question... "now what". Once all has
been said, what can be done.
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